You've come to the right place. My philosophy is simple: Not everyone needs expensive, custom jokes to get laughs in a short speech. Each downloadable file has five original, funny gags on a topic, occupation, event, or type of personality - all for only $1.49 plus tax! You just choose your topic and get your jokes immediately.
Let’s say you’d like to say a few words at a co-worker’s retirement or birthday party and want to roast him with some clean, original jokes about his age, or maybe how he’s losing his hair. Or you’re going to a bachelorette party and need some funny, but kind of dirty, gags to make the party more memorable. It couldn't be easier.
- A page of 5 funny one-liners for $1.49 + 12¢ sales tax.
- New and original jokes. These are not old gags everyone's heard before.
- Jokes written by a professional comedy writer. (Click on the "Who Is He?" tab.)
- FREE performance tips on how to make the most of your material in my "Ten Steps to Being Funny."
Look over the list of available material below. There are dozens to choose from, and there are some sample jokes on that page. You'll find just what you need. But remember: if it has a (XX) in the title, most of the jokes are "adult" (okay - dirty).
Give one a try. If you like them, get more. For $1.49, what have you got to lose?
This list changes continually as I add more jokes and topics, so keep checking back.
(Samples of jokes are below some of the topics in blue. Clean jokes start the list; X-rated jokes are near the bottom of the page.)
Anniversary (25+ years)
These two may have been married for a long time, but they're still young at heart. Just don't get me started on their livers, kidneys, spleens...
Anniversary (25 years or less)
CEO or Corporate Executive (Troubles they have)
Clergy Birthday or Retirement
Your parents are very proud of you, and just want to say those three little words you long to hear: Get a job!
Couple Wedding from Best Man
Doctor (Old or retiring)
(S)he's stuck more fingers down throats than a convention full of bulimics.
Dentist Who's Odd or Eccentric
Doctor Who Loves Golf
Doctor (About Poor Medical Skills)
Firefighter (Old and dumb)
Gambler (Birthday or Retiring - Old)
He's been pulled over on suspicion of DUI so many times, they named a breathalizer after him!
Law Enforcement Officer, Male (Birthday or Retiring)
He's been a cop so long, the card he carries with the Miranda rights says, "Thou hast the right to remaineth silent."
Law Enforcement Officer (Making fun of Skills)
Lawyer (Birthday or Retiring)
Lawyer (Making fun of Skills/Lousy Attorney)
Man Old, Boring
He went in for an operation recently. A personality bypass.
Man Birthday or Retirement
Man Bald or Losing Hair
Nurse (Birthday or Retiring)
Politician (One Who's "Not that Bright")
Politician Who Loses Elections
Real Estate Agent (Birthday or Retiring)
Rich Person Jokes
You can tell he's rich. He's the one whose limo has the Gucci airbags.
Stock Broker (Dumb or Bad)
Person who Dresses Badly
Real Estate Agent (Old or Retiring)
Real Estate Agent (Technique and Ethics)
The messiest guy I know. Once he hired Merry Maids to clean his place. The next day they changed their name to Really Pissed Off Maids.
Teacher, Woman Birthday or Retirement
It's getting harder to teach because kids today are more cynical. When she asked her class which president said, "I cannot tell a lie," one kid asked, "Is this a trick question?"
Teacher, Male Birthday or Retirement
Woman Who's Overweight
Woman Bad Cook
She knows nothing about cooking. I ate dinner at her house once. During the Jell-o, she kept saying, "Watch out for the bones."
(Sorry - no samples for XX jokes. I don't know who will be visiting this page, and don't want people complaining their kids told one in class - and got it from ME!)
Bachelor Party (XX!)
Bachelor Party for Sports Fan (XX!)
Bachelorette Party (XX!)
Computer Geek/ (Dumb, Bad With Women) (XX!)
Gambler Bachelor Party (XX!)
Man Birthday/Retirement Old (XX!)
Man Who's Bald (XX)
Man Who's Fat (XX)
Nurse Woman Birthday/Retirement (XX!)
Stockbroker Male (XX)
Don't go away without bookmarking this page! You never know when you may need to insult your aunt or brother at a birthday party!
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• Comedy Writing Pros:
Custom comedy for comedians, business events, corporate and public speakers from three professional comedy writers, each with over 20 years of experience and national credits.
• Editing and Updating Jokes eBook Series:
Learn from two pros as they show you the best way to fix and adapt jokes. Each volume also contains 250 usable jokes on many topics. Read more by clicking the link above.